Determined to Remember

On a frequent basis, those who have died as a result of domestic violence are reported in the news and then forgotten.  

KELLIE WADE is determined that these women and men will be remembered, and that others experiencing domestic violence will find the strength to escape. To do so, Wade is building memorials for victims of domestic violence. Her goal is to build a memorial in every county in North Carolina. She has already built one in Pender County, and she is looking at Brunswick or New Hanover counties as the next site.  

“The monuments give me hope that at least one person gets out and that no one will die from domestic violence … that I can get someone out before something bad happens,” Wade says. “The monuments can let them realize they are not alone.” 

From 2021 to 2025, nineteen people died as a result of domestic violence in New Hanover County, six in Brunswick County, and one in Pender County, according to the North Carolina State Bureau of Investigation. 

Though women are usually the victims of domestic violence, Wade stresses the fact that men are victims, too. She adds that domestic abuse afflicts people of all incomes, education levels, occupations, and racial backgrounds. 

Wade’s desire to help victims of domestic violence comes from both personal and professional experience. Even though Wade was a law enforcement officer – she served in the Wilmington Police Department, then in the New Hanover Sheriff’s Office where she retired as deputy sheriff – Wade was a victim of domestic violence. 

“I was law enforcement,” Wade says. “That doesn’t mean you can’t be abused.”  

It wasn’t until Wade’s lieutenant revealed her struggle with domestic violence that Wade found the wherewithal to improve her own situation.  

Then there was Wade’s job. As a law enforcement officer, Wade saw first-hand the devastation domestic violence leaves in its wake. One situation, in particular, spurred Wade to make the fight against domestic violence her personal mission: a sixteen-year-old girl told her boyfriend she was going to college. He killed her that night. 

“I felt so helpless,” Wade says.  

Wade turned that helplessness into action. In addition to serving on the board of The Open Gate Domestic Violence Shelter in New Hanover County, she made it her mission to raise awareness of domestic violence by memorializing those who lost their lives to domestic abuse. 

To achieve this goal, Wade founded Angels of Hope, a nonprofit that supports building memorials. To honor the victims, Wade says each of the memorials will display the names of the county’s residents who died from domestic violence. The victim’s names will be listed under the heading, “Angels of Hope.”   

Wade has already built one memorial in Atkinson in Pender County. She holds events there for Domestic Violence Awareness Month in October as well as special recognition ceremonies. 

But the memorial serves its purpose even when it holds silent vigil for those who have died from domestic abuse, she says. The families of the victim memorialized there often express their gratitude to Wade that their child has not been forgotten. Further, at least one woman has told Wade that the park and memorial were a safe haven for her and her children before she left an abusive situation.  

Wade hopes the memorial helps those in abusive relationships realize they are not alone and gives them the courage to leave. She also wishes that the memorial brings home the fact that domestic violence occurs in people’s own communities.  

Wade plans to build a second Angels of Hope Memorial in 2027. While she is leaning towards Brunswick County as the site for the next memorial, she is open to placing it in New Hanover County. 

“It’s hard to get a city or county to put up something like that,” Wade says. “People need to realize the memorial is to raise awareness and not gloom and doom. I hope cities won’t be reluctant.”  

Wade says that the memorials are costly, as the monument is similar to a headstone. For the memorial in Pender County, one of the victim’s families did the brickwork at no charge and another donated some money. She paid for the monument. 

While Wade hopes she will receive financial help for future memorials, if it isn’t forthcoming, she says she will foot the bill. 

“If I can’t raise funds for the next memorial, I will pay for it myself,” Wade says. “I am determined that all the memorials will be built. It will take time, but I’m not giving up.” 

To view more of photographer Aris Harding’s work, go to arisharding.com.

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