‘Grace Under Fire’

Living with chronic illness does not define HALEY RAE.

A string of debilitating migraines indirectly led then thirty-three-year-old Rae to a life-changing medical diagnosis. The young business owner was diagnosed with Stage 3 chronic kidney disease, despite having led a healthy lifestyle and having no related symptoms.

At the time of her diagnosis in 2021, Rae was busy running Studio Wilde, a Wilmington boutique design firm specializing in branding and website design. She started getting a lot of migraines, which she attributed to stress. When she sought treatment for the migraines at her general practitioner, she found out that her blood pressure was “near stroke level,” she says.

Testing revealed protein in her urine, so she was referred to a nephrologist, who ran a series of further tests that led to her chronic kidney disease diagnosis. Finding out that she had Stage 3 kidney disease was quite a shock for Rae, who was in many ways the picture of health. She was young, physically fit, and had made efforts to lead a healthy lifestyle. 

Having faced a sudden chronic diagnosis, Rae advocates that everyone should become informed about their health and advocate for their health. The early stages of chronic kidney disease often have no symptoms, which leads to the disease being diagnosed through blood or urine testing conducted for other reasons. Similarly, high blood pressure also often has no symptoms or warning signs.

The key to living well with chronic illness, including managing the physical and mental strain, involves mastering the art of energy management, according to Rae. “This is non-negotiable as a business owner” she says. Rae describes energy management as “nourishment of body and mind, movement, fitness, food, and community, among other things.” 

Balancing Rae’s business and professional ambition with a chronic health condition is challenging. “I listen to my body when I’m tired and being pushed and rest when I need to,” she says. 

Rae’s therapist has helped her learn to listen to her body. “I prioritize the things that take more energy for days when I have more energy,” she says.

Rae also believes in preserving energy, and “thriving with the idea that you don’t have to do it all. By respecting the boundaries of your energy, you show up better as a leader, business owner, and partner,” she explains.

She highly values her sense of community and the ability to rely on others for help when needed. “I hope other people who are going through something similar know they are not alone,” she says. 

Presently, Rae’s kidney function has decreased to the point where she is beginning the process of seeking an organ donor through Atrium Health Transplant Center in Charlotte.

Throughout her health journey, she has found ways to stay positive, a perspective that has been termed “grace under fire” by her friends. She finds joy in the simple things, such as taking the longer but more picturesque route to work or enjoying a midday dip in the ocean. 

“I don’t want to seem like it’s easy or perfect because I have bad days, too,” she says. “But I wake up every day and make a choice that (kidney disease) is not going to define me. You can’t control what happens to you, but you can choose how to respond. I can have a bad life because of my disease or a good life in spite of it.”

To view more of photographer Aris Harding’s work, go to arisharding.com.

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