Embracing Change and Growth

Riding to work – yes, we are back in the office with a few of my colleagues. This was an agreed office day, and we had to show up since we had been mostly zooming for the last while and the typical office banter had gone by the wayside. 

So having 45 minutes together – all four of us – with no particular work agenda, some personal feelings surfaced. 

This is the conversation that ensued. “I like this job, but I really feel I have more to offer. I don’t like the culture, and there is a better place for me to shine. But here I am, forty-five, and have been here ten years.” “I have had good promotions, but I am scared to leave – what if I don’t like the next place?” 

Robyn chimed in with a similar comment, but it concerned a relationship. This went on for a while. Naturally, I had my own “2 cents” to add in a similar vein. Mine had to do with a toxic family relationship, but I could not leave it. 

It seemed we all had something that we wanted to change but could not seem to do it. Instead, we chose to hang on to the known – maybe because it was comfortable.  We weren’t motivated to change things, or we were just plain afraid. Thinking about this, I asked myself if this was a common phenomenon and began taking an informal poll.

People replied with things like:

• “I have been unhappy in this relationship for years, but it works for the kids.”
• “My job is boring, but the pay is good, and I’m in my comfort zone.”
• “I know everyone here, and I don’t have to watch my back so much.”
• “If I stay a few more years, my 401(k) match will be better.”

You get the picture. Many of us stay in okay situations but could be much better if we only took the step to move out of our comfort zone. 

Sometimes catastrophic events happen forcing us to move, but everyday life does not always present these situations. Fortunately, life is a cycle of waves, and knowing when to catch the next wave is always tricky and not always seen. 

I call this the transition phase. Knowing you must do something else – make a transition but not knowing how or what to do. Many talk about transformation, but you must accept that you must transition before you transform.

Transition can take many forms. You can transition in your current situation by changing your thinking. You don’t always have to leave and go somewhere else. You can look at your situation and reframe it for a better fit.

You can look for other alternatives – go back to school, consider a move. There are always alternatives that may look daunting but will stretch you and make for a better next wave to catch. The first step is to recognize that you need to transition. It will be a relief.

Here are some thoughts to get you started on the transition to transformation journey.

• Take a good and candid account of where you are – not where you want to be but where you really are. Put it away for a day or two, re-examine it, and see if it still rings true.
• Now look at the skills you have. Be brutally honest.
• Next, look at your current environment and compare it to the environment that makes you happy – where and when you feel at your best.

Once you have done this, it is time then to transform. Now you need to take specific steps to transform to your next best place. 

Write your transition plan – not more than one page. Track your progress to transformation, record, and see how you feel when you reach your next wave. Most people will do this many times in their lifetime. That’s what learning and growing are all about. And we are never too old to learn, grow, and transform.

Write that vision of your next best place, job, or relationship – whatever it may be. Write the steps down to get there and start moving on your transition plan to transform! 

The transformation journey can be fun, scary, and exciting. If you get stuck employ the 3 Ss:

• Spot that you are stuck. 
• Stop doing what you are doing currently.
• Swap with new actions.

Transformation is a process that can be frightening, but it can be rewarding. I am in transition yet again in my life! I am excited to see how I transform. I know it will be a bumpy road

Linda Sharkey is a transformation expert and world-renowned executive coach. She has worked with many Fortune 100 companies and leaders. Sharkey can be reached at Linda@lindasharkey.com

To view more of photographer Terah Hoobler’s work, go to terahhoobler.com.

Want more WILMA? Click here to sign up for our WILMA newsletters and announcements.