Igniting a Spark

Long before KATE EAMES founded Finding the Fire Within, a locally based women’s leadership retreat series, she forged her career in industries where women were the exception, not the rule.

Eames began as an engineer, moved into construction law as an expert witness, and eventually found her way to homebuilding – her lifelong dream.

“I have always been in male‑dominated industries,” Eames says. “I would show up with this energy to prove myself – that I had a right to be in the room, I had a right to be at the table. Even though I didn’t feel my presence was welcomed, I made my own space.”

That resilience – and willingness to lead – became the through line of her professional life. Today, Eames is the founder of Anchor Group Design and Build and a driving force behind women-focused leadership initiatives in the construction world.

But Finding the Fire Within didn’t emerge from ambition alone. It was born from something far more personal.

As Eames was launching her company and helping lead the Cape Fear Professional Women in Building Council through the Wilmington-Cape Fear Home Builders Association, something unexpected kept happening. Women began seeking her out – again and again.

“They were asking, ‘Can we get coffee?’ ‘How are you navigating this?’ ‘What are you doing about that?’” she says. “I really enjoy helping, but I realized there was a lack of something being available.”

At the same time, Eames was navigating profound change in her own life.

“There was a lot of inner work I was already doing behind the scenes,” she says. “That kind of work is not typically discussed within leadership programs.”

What she saw was a gap: Countless leadership workshops focused on strategies, frameworks, and productivity, but very little attention paid to the patterns, conditioning, and emotional load women carry into every leadership role they hold.

“This is not an entry‑level leadership program,” Eames explains. “This is beyond core values. This is a much deeper dive into who you are personally – and doing work that can get really uncomfortable.”

Finding the Fire Within (findingthefirewithinretreat.com) is designed for high‑achieving women who also feel disconnected, exhausted, or quietly dissatisfied, organizers say. Many are CEOs, attorneys, business owners, or senior leaders. Almost all share the same underlying struggle.

“Our worthiness is connected to our output,” Eames says. “We equate busyness with success. But we have the right to rest.”

At the retreats – kept intentionally small and intimate – participants step away from their daily roles as leaders, mothers, partners, and caregivers. There’s no detailed itinerary handed out in advance. No chance to over-prepare.

“Type‑A women love an agenda,” Eames says with a laugh. “So, we intentionally don’t give you one. You have to show up and be present.”

The work combines professional leadership development with therapy‑based inner exploration, all set within a thoughtfully curated environment. The first retreat took place on Bald Head Island, a location chosen for its beauty and its seclusion.

“You can’t just phone a friend and leave,” Eames says. “If you make the commitment to be here, we want you to stay and work through the discomfort.”

The transformations Eames witnesses aren’t loud or flashy, but they’re lasting.

“Everyone has some level of breakthrough,” she says. “Not because they aren’t capable, but because they’ve given themselves no grace.”

Participants begin to understand how old patterns, formed in childhood or reinforced through years of achievement, have shaped how they lead. Many arrive believing they must fix everyone and everything.

“One of the biggest realizations is understanding, ‘I don’t have to fix everyone. I only have to work on myself,’” Eames says. “And the more I work on myself, the better I show up for others.”

That awareness changes not only how women lead teams, but how they lead their lives, creating space for empathy without self‑sacrifice, ambition without burnout, and success without constant survival mode.

“There’s a time in your life when you can thrive,” Eames says. “You just have to choose to.”

Eames describes herself as someone with a deep internal fire – one fueled by empowerment and community. Even now, balancing parenting, business ownership, and leadership retreats, she follows that spark.

“When I’m lit up, other people feel it,” she says. “If more people lived authentically, others would step into that energy too.”

With future retreats planned and hopes of national recognition, Finding the Fire Within continues to grow – not as a quick fix, but as a transformative experience.

“There’s no going back to who you were before,” Eames says. “You don’t return with a checklist. You return as a new version of yourself.”

To view more of photographer and stylists Drewe & Kate’s work, go to dreweandkate.com

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